Chocoholic
by Carrot-Bunny
Summary: Remus used to spend a good part of his every Hogsmeade visit standing in front of Honeydukes gazing at the display of chocolates inside. It still hasn't changed much over the years, except now he isn't alone in his chocoholism... Wolfstar, rated T for licking of the lips. Now with an exclusive review by none other than the Marauders themselves! R/R.
1. Chocoholic

Remus remembered his first Hogsmeade back in third year. He had been standing in front of the Honeydukes display window, gazing longingly at the magnificent chocolates on display inside and wishing he had enough money to buy them. Unfortunately, he never received much pocket money, but that didn't stop him from spending a good part of every Hogsmeade visit standing in front of the sweet shop, freezing his hands off and longing for something he would never be able to have.

A few years on it was still very much the same as always, only that now he was no longer alone, nor was his hands freezing in the cold. They were now held by another pair of hands, gently rubbing against his.

"Damn it Moony, it's your entire fault I have to stand here with you in the freezing cold."

"And why is that, Padfoot?"

"If it wasn't for those chocolate-tasting lips of yours, I could have led a simple, chocolate-free life. But no, now I have to stand here wishing for some of that sinfully delicious stuff inside. It's like a drug."

"You could go inside and buy some, you know."

"Nah, I spent most of my pocket money in Zonko's Joke Shop. I don't have enough left. But if you could, which one would you buy?"

Remus pointed to the largest box of chocolate in the window without hesitation. "That one."

"You just love wanting stuff you know you can't have, don't you?"

"I don't care."

"Yeah, I thought as much." Suddenly Sirius was hit by a bright idea. "Hey, why don't we pool in all our money together and buy it?"

Remus turned to look at him. "You'd be willing to use up all your money for that box of chocolate?"

"If you're willing. And don't forget, we split it equally, got it?" With that, Sirius led Remus by the hand into the sweet shop.

…

It was night in Gryffindor Tower, and all the dorm rooms were dark, except for the seventh-years' boys dorm room. All its occupants were sound asleep, except for two who were sitting on opposite sides of the bed in the farthest corner with its curtains drawn. The only light came from a pair of wands lying at the side of the bed, illuminating their owners' faces as they finished off a box of chocolates together.

"Don't you think we should save some for James and Peter?"

"Nah, finishing it all in one go is more fun. Besides, they didn't help buy it."

"Still, it seems a bit wasteful, eating it all at once. I mean, we'll probably wake up tomorrow morning with our purses empty and our stomachs wanting more. And then we won't be able to buy any more."

"Hey, don't forget we still have that secret passage into Honeydukes. We can go and get some any time we want it, and we won't have to pay either."

Remus shot his friend a glare. "You know I don't like to do that."

"Yeah, yeah, Prefect Moony. But I say stolen bread - or in this case, chocolate - tastes better."

"But using your money to buy it gives you a sense of contentment…" His words drawled off as he took the last piece of chocolate in the box and took a dainty bite, savouring the taste of chocolate on the tip of his tongue.

Sirius, who had long since finished the last of his portion of chocolate, was now eying Remus greedily. "Hey no fair, why do you get more chocolate than me?"

"I don't. We split it equally. You just ate faster because you swallow them whole like a hungry dog."

"Moony, I _am _a hungry dog."

"And I'm a sophisticated wolf who likes to devour his prey bit by bit and savour every last bite."

"You know, Moony, that's probably the most perverted thing I've heard you say." Sirius watched as Remus finished the last of his chocolate and carefully licked his fingers like a cat cleaning itself. "You've still got some on your mouth."

"Do I?" Before Remus could stick out his tongue to lick it off, however, Sirius had pounced on him, pinning him to the mattress. "Sorry Moony, but that chocolate is mine." Before Remus could protest, he could feel a hot wet tongue slowly licking the edge of his lips. He held still, not daring to move.

"All done." Sirius got off, leaving his friend to let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Remus sat up, and immediately noticed his fellow chocoholic was still staring at him. "What, is there a spot you missed?" Highly unlikely, he thought.

"I wonder if you have any hidden in your mouth." A sly grin was spreading on Sirius' face.

"Padfoot, that's absurd - " Remus didn't get to finish his sentence as his friend had pounced on him again, now pressing his lips to his own. This time he didn't hold in his breath, but readily opened his lips slightly as he felt Sirius' tongue in his mouth, exploring the corners for any trace of chocolate.

Sirius finally let go, and rested his head on his friend's chest. "Moony, is your mouth made of chocolate?"

Remus stroked his friend's hair gently. "I don't know. Would you like to find out?"

"I would." Sirius lifted his head and kissed his friend again, feeling him respond with equal passion.

Later that night, as the two of them lay breathless on the bed, Messr Padfoot had come to the conclusion that Messr Moony's mouth was indeed made of chocolate, and many more sweet things besides.

**A/N: I know this isn't the Wolfstar songfic I promised, but I've never written slash fanfiction before, and this irritating plot bunny kept bouncing around in my head, so just think of this as a warm-up, 'kay? And I'll try to finish that Wolfstar songfic soon! Reviews are much appreciated!**


	2. The Marauders Reading 'Chocoholic'

'And – we're – free!' Sirius ran out of the classroom and did a little victory dance. 'We're free, we're free, we – are – free!'

'Well, apart from the homework we have to do,' said Remus.

'Homework? No, Remus, no homework. We are free and we are going to enjoy this! I say we're going outside and RUN LIKE THE WIND!' Sirius turned around, spread his arms, looked out of the window – and groaned as he saw the torrential downpour effectively killing off his chances of going outside with his friends.

'Look at the bright side,' said Remus. 'James had a Quidditch training planned for tonight. You could be in his team.'

'Moony, Prongs is the main reason why I didn't even consider trying out this year.' Sirius walked over to the window, his face that of an abandoned puppy. 'Now what are we supposed to do?'

'Homework,' said Peter.

'Now what are we supposed to do?' Sirius repeated.

'How exhausting it must be to share a dormitory with him,' Lily said to James. They were both standing in the doorway and looking at Sirius's dramatics. 'How do you keep him silent at night?'

'Nowadays we read him a story,' said James. 'Before that? Drugs. Stunning Spells. Gags. Anything, really, but you get used to it.'

'Why don't we read one story before we do our homework?' Peter suggested. 'Then we have some time to relax before we force our brains into submission again.'

The others agreed, so they went to their favourite abandoned classroom. A cold December wind came in through the window, so instead of just de-dusting the room, Remus also conjured a couple of small fires to keep them all warm. The result was a very comfy, campfire-y atmosphere.

'Okay, let's read this,' Lily said, choosing a story. 'It's called _Chocoholic_, by someone named Carrot-Bunny. It is, as you've probably guess, about our dearly beloved Remus and his chocolate addiction.' Lily grinned at Remus. 'And something with Wolfstar, but I've no idea what that is.'

'Only one way to find out,' Sirius said. 'And true Gryffindors never back away from a quest!'

**Remus remembered his first Hogsmeade back in third year. He had been standing in front of the Honeydukes display window, gazing longingly at the magnificent chocolates on display inside and wishing he had enough money to buy them.**

'Í remember that, too,' said Peter. 'That "woe is me"-expression on his face…'

Remus shrugged. 'I hadn't discovered the kitchens yet, okay? And – and Honeydukes does have the most amazing offer of chocolate…'

**Unfortunately, he never received much pocket money, but that didn't stop him from spending a good part of every Hogsmeade visit standing in front of the sweet shop, freezing his hands off and longing for something he would never be able to have.**

'Am I the only one who thinks of a forbidden love when reading "something he would never be able to have"?' Lily said. 'Almost like he's Sir Lancelot and looking at Guinevere, knowing she belongs to someone else…'

'That probably _is _how he feels about chocolate,' Sirius said. 'His one and true love, eh, Moony?'

**A few years on it was still very much the same as always, only that now he was no longer alone, nor were his hands freezing in the cold.**

'He's found love! He's found Elaine of Astolat, whom he pretends to love but will never be as wonderful as his Guinevere-chocolate,' Lily said. 'But still she warms him, when he's cold and lonely at night…'

'Lily, the story's about chocolate, not Arthurian romance,' said Sirius.

**They were now held by another pair of hands, gently rubbing against his.**

'If this isn't romance, I don't know what is,' said Lily. 'I do love stories where Remus finds someone.'

**"Damn it Moony, it's your entire fault I have to stand here with you in the freezing cold."**

**"And why is that, Padfoot?"**

'I…' Sirius looked at the book. 'Why am I warming Moony's hands?'

'Because they're cold,' said James. 'Because you love him!'

**"If it wasn't for those chocolate-tasting lips of yours, I could have led a simple, chocolate-free life.**

'… Who is sa – oh, please don't tell me fanfiction!me is saying this. How would I know what Remus's lips taste like?' As a matter of fact, Sirius _did _know what they tasted like, but that was one drunk, drunk, _drunk _moment he and Remus both pretended had never happened. And that time Remus had tasted of vodka.

**But no, now I have to stand here wishing for some of that sinfully delicious stuff inside. It's like a drug."**

'"You're like a drug to me,"' said Peter. '"Like my own personal brand of heroin."'

Everyone gave him strange looks.

'What was that?' James said.

'Er… nothing.'

**"You could go inside and buy some, you know."**

**"Nah, I spent most of my pocket money in Zonko's Joke Shop. I don't have enough left. But if you could, which one would you buy?"**

**Remus pointed to the largest box of chocolate in the window without hesitation. "That one."**

'I have this image of Remus and Sirius, both boys from the dregs, heartbreakingly skinny in their worn-out clothing, looking at the candy store, hoping they'll get the Golden Ticket…' Lily let out a deep sigh. 'Oh, to have that Golden Ticket…'

'I… I think you're the only one who thinks that, Evans,' said Sirius. 'Personally, I have an image of Remus standing in front of Honeydukes, wanking off to chocolate the way he always does.'

**"You just****love****wanting stuff you know you can't have, don't you?"**

**"I don't care."**

**"Yeah, I thought as much." Suddenly Sirius was hit by a bright idea.**

'Oh, no, everyone run,' said James. 'I know Sirius's "bright ideas"…'

**"Hey, why don't we pool in all our money together and buy it?"**

'Oh. Well, that wasn't so bad,' said James.

'Just wait until he gets the idea to turn the chocolate into a mini-dragon that will eat Snape and burn his hair, or something like that,' said Peter. 'You know it's only a matter of time before he thinks of that.'

**Remus turned to look at him. "You'd be willing to use up all your money for that box of chocolate?"**

**"If you're willing. And don't forget, we split it equally, got it?" With that, Sirius led Remus by the hand into the sweet shop.**

'_Wolfstar,_' Lily said, suddenly knowing what it meant. 'Of course!'

'Does anyone else get it?' Sirius said.

'Nope.' James shook his head.

'That doesn't matter – let's continue, shall we?' she said, wondering how Sirius would react to this.

…

**It was night in Gryffindor Tower, and all the dorm rooms were dark, except for the seventh-years' boys dorm room. All its occupants were sound asleep, except for two who were sitting on opposite sides of the bed in the farthest corner with its curtains drawn.**

'Bewitching the chocolate dragon, no doubt,' said Peter.

**The only light came from a pair of wands**

'Oh, yeah, sure – "wands,"' Lily said, earning herself some surprised looks.

**lying at the side of the bed, illuminating their owners' faces as they finished off a box of chocolates together.**

'Am I… sharing my chocolate with Padfoot?' Remus said. 'I mean, I know he paid half of it, but…'

'But usually you still wouldn't share? Remus, this is the clearest sign I'll never buy you chocolate,' Sirius said. 'Of course you'll share with me, I'm the most important person in your universe.'

**"Don't you think we should save some for James and Peter?"**

'No,' Sirius and Remus said at the same time.

**"Nah, finishing it all in one go is more fun. Besides, they didn't help buy it."**

**"Still, it seems a bit wasteful, eating it all at once.**

'That isn't wasteful, that is the ultimate pleasure,' Remus said. 'There's nothing like eating a whole box in once. Except maybe eating _two_boxes…'

**I mean, we'll probably wake up tomorrow morning with our purses empty and our stomachs wanting more. And then we won't be able to buy any more."**

'I'm reminded – again – of the Golden Ticket,' Lily said. 'You two poor boys, starving, with no one to look after you…'

'Lily, they're at Hogwarts. There are House Elves,' James said. 'Even if they've no chocolate, they won't _starve_.'

**"Hey, don't forget we still have that secret passage into Honeydukes. We can go and get some any time we want it, and we won't have to pay either."**

'Once again, fanfiction!me makes excellent points,' Sirius said. 'Why didn't we think of that earlier in the story?'

**Remus shot his friend a glare. "You know I don't like to do that."**

'Oh. That's why.'

'What? It's stealing,' said Remus. 'It _is _wrong.'

**"Yeah, yeah, Prefect Moony. But I say stolen bread - or in this case, chocolate - tastes better."**

'See, the stolen moments with Guinevere-chocolate are better than when Remus could've come out and just declared his love for her,' said Lily. 'Even Sirius-Elaine sees that.'

**"But using your money to buy it gives you a sense of contentment…" His words drawled off as he took the last piece of chocolate in the box and took a dainty bite, savouring the taste of chocolate on the tip of his tongue.**

James was the only one who saw the corners of Lily's mouth turn up – the rest was too engrossed in the story. But now James, too, had a feeling he might know what Wolfstar meant…

**Sirius, who had long since finished the last of his portion of chocolate, was now eying Remus greedily.**

'Remus, or Remus's?' Sirius said, sounding a bit worried.

'Remus,' said Lily. 'It definitely says Remus.'

Sirius choked. 'Must be a spelling error, then. That's all right.'

**"Hey no fair, why do you get more chocolate than me?"**

**"I don't. We split it equally. You just ate faster because you swallow them whole like a hungry dog."**

**"Moony, I **_**am **_**a hungry dog."**

**"And I'm a sophisticated wolf who likes to devour his prey bit by bit and savour every last bite."**

'I can't believe I said that,' said Remus. 'I'm hardly what you'd call sophisticated as a wolf…'

'Even as a wolf you're a thousand times more sophisticated than Padfoot,' Peter said.

**"You know, Moony, that's probably the most perverted thing I've heard you say."**

'How is that perverted?' Sirius asked.

'Subtext, Sirius, subtext,' Lily said.

**Sirius watched as Remus finished the last of his chocolate and carefully licked his fingers like a cat cleaning itself. "You've still got some on your mouth."**

'I hate it when he does that,' Sirius said. 'Looking content with himself because he's had chocolate…'

'Sirius, we're getting to the climax – shut up,' Lily said, her cheeks a bit red.

**"Do I?" Before Remus could stick out his tongue to lick it off, however, Sirius had pounced on him, pinning him to the mattress.**

Sirius blinked. 'Lily, don't do this.'

'I didn't write it. Come on, you two… wrestle… all the time. Maybe it's nothing,' Lily said.

**"Sorry Moony, but that chocolate is mine."**

'See? You're just a hungry bastard,' said James, taking off his glasses and cleaning them with the hem of his jumper, so as not to look at Sirius. 'No surprise there. It's not _our _fault you see sex in everything.'

**Before Remus could protest, he could feel a hot wet tongue slowly licking the edge of his lips. He held still, not daring to move.**

'… Am I the only one who thinks this is slightly rape-tastic?' Peter said. 'I mean, Remus… doesn't sound like he's enjoying it.'

'I've just been assaulted and licked by Padfoot – would _you _enjoy that?'

'That is unresolved sexual tension, Remus, unresolved sexual tension!' Lily said.

**"All done." Sirius got off, leaving his friend to let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Remus sat up, and immediately noticed his fellow chocoholic was still staring at him. "What, is there a spot you missed?" Highly unlikely, he thought.**

'That just sounds like Padfoot slobbered all over him in his dog form,' said Peter.

'Maybe he did,' James said.

**"I wonder if you have any hidden in your mouth." A sly grin was spreading on Sirius' face.**

'I'm not going to snog Moony, am I?' Sirius said. 'I'm not gay! I'm not!'

'No one said anything about snogging, Sirius,' James said.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. 'Prongs, that isn't just "subtext", that's not my perverted brain, that is – I mean – just _read _that sentence! Fanfiction!me is _so_obviously trying to snog Moony, it's not even subtle!'

'No, but when have you ever been subtle?' Peter said.

**"Padfoot, that's absurd - " Remus didn't get to finish his sentence as his friend had pounced on him again, now pressing his lips to his own.**

'Whoohoo!' Lily cheered. 'Resolved sexual tension!'

**This time he didn't hold in his breath, but readily opened his lips slightly as he felt Sirius' tongue in his mouth, exploring the corners for any trace of chocolate.**

'It's just for chocolate,' Sirius told himself, staring stonily ahead. 'I – Moony, I'd never do that. So don't go eating chocolate just because you think I'd shag you.'

'How funny would it be if Peter woke up right now and told them to be quiet?' Lily said.

**Sirius finally let go, and rested his head on his friend's chest. "Moony, is your mouth made of chocolate?"**

'Probably,' James snorted. 'Eating so much of it is bound to affect his body in more ways than one.'

**Remus stroked his friend's hair gently. "I don't know. Would you like to find out?"**

'No!' Sirius said.

'Sirius, come on, you're cute together,' said Lily. 'And at least this story had some sort of plot-ish thing going on. Unlike that other one where you and Remus were just suddenly shagging. I think it's cute. Now be quiet, I'm almost finished.'

**"I would." Sirius lifted his head and kissed his friend again, feeling him respond with equal passion.**

**Later that night, as the two of them lay breathless on the bed, Messr Padfoot had come to the conclusion that Messr Moony's mouth was indeed made of chocolate, and many more sweet things besides.**

'And that's the end,' Lily said.

'Why do people pair me with Moony?' Sirius said, shaking his head. 'Why?'

'Well, it makes sense,' James said. 'I mean, everybody thinks Lily and I belong together – and it's no good looking like that, you know it's true,' he said, looking at Lily, '– and for some reason people hate Peter. So _if _people have to be gay, those would be you.'

'But why would someone have to be gay?' Remus said. 'That's what I don't get.'

'Because boy on boy is hot,' Lily said.

James stared at her. 'I'm sorry?'

'It is! Boys are always going on about how girl on girl is hot and then they're surprised when we feel the same, except about boys. I mean, it's not really my cup of tea, though Sirius and Remus would be cute together, but… yeah, I get why a lot of girls like it.' She didn't look at the Marauders as she said, 'So, er… homework now?'

**A/N: This wasn't written by me. I suggested my story to Mibamonster for her fanfic 'The Marauders' Companion', where the Marauders and Lily discover a book full of fanfictions about them. Really hilarious material. So anyway, after she'd published this chapter in her story I asked if I could use it here as a follow-up and she said yes, so there you go! If you want to read more stuff like this, go to her profile and look for this story. You won't be disappointed, trust me.**


End file.
